Sep
13th
Caitlin Moran's How To Be A Woman - A Book Review
By stupidgirl45
Rating: 4/5 for humour, 2/5 for content
Genre: Cultural/social studies
Book Overview
Caitlin Moran - a regular Times/Guardian columnist and paid up member of the British Twitterati- has written a modern feminist's handbook which aims to do exactly as per the title - how to be a woman. Following Moran's experiences of everything from porn to pubic hair, menstruation to abortion, we learn how it seems Moran thinks we should be women in the 21st century. This is a humourous call to arms aimed squarely at Generations X + Y......or is it?
My Opinion
First up, I'm a feminist - as per Moran's feminism test early on in the book - I may have paraphrased slightly:
"You're a feminist if a) you have a vagina and b) you want to be in charge of it"
Well aside from the fact that I believe men can be feminists too, I agree with this statement - and I think pretty much every woman out there does. Moran sets out to point out that really, all women are feminists, even the ones who write for the Daily Fail. Without feminism, they wouldn't have the liberty to write for the Fail in the first place.
I should also add that I have read Germaine Greer's The Female Eunuch + The Whole Woman plus I've read The Handmaid's Tale a zillion times, so yeah. I've read a bit of feminist literature. However, I'm no expert and also, I don't consider myself a `militant` feminist. I don't feel the need to divide beliefs into levels of commitment or belief. You either are or aren't a feminist. What you do with that is up to you.
So, back to the book. As much as it was incredibly entertaining and zestily funny, and I very much envied Moran's lifestyle - going to a sex club with Lady Gaga anyone - I don't understand why feminism needs, effectively, to be sold to the masses in a dumbed down format. Which is what this book IMO does.
Read the rest of the review here
Genre: Cultural/social studies
Book Overview
Caitlin Moran - a regular Times/Guardian columnist and paid up member of the British Twitterati- has written a modern feminist's handbook which aims to do exactly as per the title - how to be a woman. Following Moran's experiences of everything from porn to pubic hair, menstruation to abortion, we learn how it seems Moran thinks we should be women in the 21st century. This is a humourous call to arms aimed squarely at Generations X + Y......or is it?
My Opinion
First up, I'm a feminist - as per Moran's feminism test early on in the book - I may have paraphrased slightly:
"You're a feminist if a) you have a vagina and b) you want to be in charge of it"
Well aside from the fact that I believe men can be feminists too, I agree with this statement - and I think pretty much every woman out there does. Moran sets out to point out that really, all women are feminists, even the ones who write for the Daily Fail. Without feminism, they wouldn't have the liberty to write for the Fail in the first place.
I should also add that I have read Germaine Greer's The Female Eunuch + The Whole Woman plus I've read The Handmaid's Tale a zillion times, so yeah. I've read a bit of feminist literature. However, I'm no expert and also, I don't consider myself a `militant` feminist. I don't feel the need to divide beliefs into levels of commitment or belief. You either are or aren't a feminist. What you do with that is up to you.
So, back to the book. As much as it was incredibly entertaining and zestily funny, and I very much envied Moran's lifestyle - going to a sex club with Lady Gaga anyone - I don't understand why feminism needs, effectively, to be sold to the masses in a dumbed down format. Which is what this book IMO does.
Read the rest of the review here
Apr
30th
Becky's Book Review - More To Life Than Shoes!
By stupidgirl45
Book: More To Life Than Shoes: How to Kick Start Your Career + Change Your Life
Author: Nadia Finer + Emily Nash
Genre: Job hunting/careers/women/self help
Star Rating: 5/5
General Description
As per the book blurb itself, this is perfect for anyone who has wondered if there's more to life than living for the glass of wine at the end of the day, knackering yourself on the tube and just generally wondering WTF am I showing up in this office for every damn day.Through a series of exercises, mini essays and more importantly, interviews with women who've achieved some amazing things, this book will help you realise that apparently, there is more to life than shoes!
I'm not normally a fan of life coaching/self help/career coaching type books - I guess I've always been a bit dubious and snobbish about them. However when Nadia from MTLTS sent me a link to their website, I totally fell in love with the concept of women supporting other women to achieve their dreams. As I said in WoTW the other day, we don't celebrate our achievements often enough and this book helps you figure out how to achieve your dreams. Actually more importantly than that, it helps you figure out what your dream is and to
me, that's half the battle.
Another part of the book - that I liked the best - were the interviews scattered throughout - particularly with Martha Lane Fox, Rachel Johnson + Kanya King (founder of the Mobos).
If you like.......
What Colour is My Parachute? Erin Brockavich Sliding Doors Getting Things Done The Secret...inspiring true stories, female empowerment, practical advice
....then you'll like this
Read the rest of the review here....
Apr
15th
Didn't You Get The Memo? Top 10 Newbie Blogger Tips....
By stupidgirl45
So I thought I'd try something new .... I'm not normally all that
good with change but, after having a few days off and then coming
back to a wonderful reception to my post last
night, I wanted to give you guys some more (hopefully decent)
content.
I try to give back and share as much as possible, so this post is about all the stuff I wish I'd known back in January. If you're an experienced blogger you'll probably know most of the below - but there might be some good links for you! After the tips there are also a couple of questions that I got asked earlier today about blogging. And remember, if you've got tips to share or other questions to ask please post them in the comments part.
Tip One - Don't expect to get it right first time.
This applies to content, blog layout, lots of followers, jargon, gadgets, the lot!
It took me a little while to tweak my blog layout to just how I wanted it and to add the gadgets I wanted. Not all of them are suitable when you're just starting out IMO anyway - I didn't want to set up a Facebook page in the first week, when about 2 people were reading my blog - and one of them was my mum. Make sure that when you do add gadgets they are relevant to your blog as well.
PS By gadget I mean the stuff on your blog that's not the actual writing - like top 10 posts, archives, pictures, links, blog rolls etc
Also take the time to figure stuff out in the early days - you probably won't have that many viewers, so it won't matter if you muck up a couple of times! There's so much helpful advice out there - take it. I would particularly recommend (as ever) Novel Publicity for their advice on blog layouts, using social media and how to set up FB pages. Check it out!
Be kind to yourself - there's no one watching you or judging you - your blog isyour domain and what you say goes! Which brings me on to......
Tip Two - Be Yourself
Don't write for other people, write for you and what you're interested in. Easier said than done I know. I was really scared when I started blogging, I thought WTF am I doing this for (see here) - there are so many bloody bloggers out there, yes really! but I kept going (see here) because wow, people started reading the blog - and commenting - and asking me stuff. So I realised that there was an audience for my writing and that other bloggers were not the enemy - we're all unique. So keep writing - someone out there will like it. I found it helpful to write a set of rules for the blog, to remind me - and my readers - what I was all about. And maybe it was a bit silly, but I wanted to have a little integrity on my blog - after all, I bare my soul on here to thousands of people, all over the world.
Tip Three - Play Nicely
Okay, repeat after me....Read...aaaaand SHARE. Read....aaaand SHARE
You know when someone sends you a funny link and you just have to share it? Well the same goes for blogging and links and cool websites. Share. A lot. All the time. This is kind of the point of blogrolls - a way of showing other blogs that you're into, but for me, I try to regularly do shout outs in my posts of cool sites, places I've been to, books/blogs I've read, music/films etc - you get the picture. It's about sharing the love. Also what you like doesn't have to be hugely popular. I love giving newbie bloggers a shout out on my blog - because established bloggers have done it for me. It's kind of pay-it-forward in blogging. On the plus side, if you do mention someone - let them know - sometimes they'll link to your blog on a tweet or even, their blog. However this is not the main reason to do this.
I also like to read + follow lots of other blogs - just because I am truly fascinated by other people. I read a wide assortment of blogs - from management to weddings tocampaigning to writing to climbing....and I love it. I feed off this information. And it reminds me to stay true to what I do as well. So once again.....read...aaaand SHARE!
Read the rest of this post....here
I try to give back and share as much as possible, so this post is about all the stuff I wish I'd known back in January. If you're an experienced blogger you'll probably know most of the below - but there might be some good links for you! After the tips there are also a couple of questions that I got asked earlier today about blogging. And remember, if you've got tips to share or other questions to ask please post them in the comments part.
Tip One - Don't expect to get it right first time.
This applies to content, blog layout, lots of followers, jargon, gadgets, the lot!
It took me a little while to tweak my blog layout to just how I wanted it and to add the gadgets I wanted. Not all of them are suitable when you're just starting out IMO anyway - I didn't want to set up a Facebook page in the first week, when about 2 people were reading my blog - and one of them was my mum. Make sure that when you do add gadgets they are relevant to your blog as well.
PS By gadget I mean the stuff on your blog that's not the actual writing - like top 10 posts, archives, pictures, links, blog rolls etc
Also take the time to figure stuff out in the early days - you probably won't have that many viewers, so it won't matter if you muck up a couple of times! There's so much helpful advice out there - take it. I would particularly recommend (as ever) Novel Publicity for their advice on blog layouts, using social media and how to set up FB pages. Check it out!
Be kind to yourself - there's no one watching you or judging you - your blog isyour domain and what you say goes! Which brings me on to......
Tip Two - Be Yourself
Don't write for other people, write for you and what you're interested in. Easier said than done I know. I was really scared when I started blogging, I thought WTF am I doing this for (see here) - there are so many bloody bloggers out there, yes really! but I kept going (see here) because wow, people started reading the blog - and commenting - and asking me stuff. So I realised that there was an audience for my writing and that other bloggers were not the enemy - we're all unique. So keep writing - someone out there will like it. I found it helpful to write a set of rules for the blog, to remind me - and my readers - what I was all about. And maybe it was a bit silly, but I wanted to have a little integrity on my blog - after all, I bare my soul on here to thousands of people, all over the world.
Tip Three - Play Nicely
Okay, repeat after me....Read...aaaaand SHARE. Read....aaaand SHARE
You know when someone sends you a funny link and you just have to share it? Well the same goes for blogging and links and cool websites. Share. A lot. All the time. This is kind of the point of blogrolls - a way of showing other blogs that you're into, but for me, I try to regularly do shout outs in my posts of cool sites, places I've been to, books/blogs I've read, music/films etc - you get the picture. It's about sharing the love. Also what you like doesn't have to be hugely popular. I love giving newbie bloggers a shout out on my blog - because established bloggers have done it for me. It's kind of pay-it-forward in blogging. On the plus side, if you do mention someone - let them know - sometimes they'll link to your blog on a tweet or even, their blog. However this is not the main reason to do this.
I also like to read + follow lots of other blogs - just because I am truly fascinated by other people. I read a wide assortment of blogs - from management to weddings tocampaigning to writing to climbing....and I love it. I feed off this information. And it reminds me to stay true to what I do as well. So once again.....read...aaaand SHARE!
Read the rest of this post....here
Apr
5th
Breathing in - inspiration, my word of the week
By stupidgirl45
Member stupidgirl45 doesn't see inspiration as a lightbulb
moment - it's more of a state of mind.
Inspiration n: Stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity, c.1300, "immediate influence of God or a god," especially that under which the holy books were written, from O.Fr. inspiration, from L.L. inspirationem (nom. inspiratio), from L.inspiratus, pp. of inspirare "inspire, inflame, blow into," from in-"in" + spirare "to breathe" (see spirit)
(Listen to this whilst you read this post - I wrote this post listening to it.)
There is a lot of talk
about inspiration being something that 'hits' you. That comes
out of the blue and kind of ... clonks you on the head - a
lightbulb moment. That's not really how it feels to me.
Inspiration n: Stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity, c.1300, "immediate influence of God or a god," especially that under which the holy books were written, from O.Fr. inspiration, from L.L. inspirationem (nom. inspiratio), from L.inspiratus, pp. of inspirare "inspire, inflame, blow into," from in-"in" + spirare "to breathe" (see spirit)
(Listen to this whilst you read this post - I wrote this post listening to it.)
There is a lot of talk
about inspiration being something that 'hits' you. That comes
out of the blue and kind of ... clonks you on the head - a
lightbulb moment. That's not really how it feels to me.
Inspiration to me is a state of being. It's an emotion or
a state where my head and my heart and everything in my
body is aligned perfectly. I feel every bit of oxygen in my
body, that my blood is flowing smoothly, that my eyes are open
wider, that my ears are listening more keenly and that I am
receiving knowledge with every cell of my being. I guess it is
akin to a religious experience. I feel that I am my truest self
in that moment and so anything I produce - be it writing,
blogging, cooking, climbing, talking - is my most honest
creation.
In the movie Stigmata, Patricia Arquette's character is
possessed and she quotes from the new testament "the
Kingdom of God is inside you, and all around you, not in
mansions of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood... and I am
there, lift a stone... and you will find me."
I'd never heard these words before and they stuck with
me. I'm not a religious person but I try to find beauty
everywhere, even in the most unlikely places. And that, to me,
is inspiration - it's everywhere, you only have to open
yourself to seeing it.
So yes, I am inspired when I'm doing mundane ordinary
things - sitting on the tube, wandering around the supermarket,
doing the laundry, when my brain is open to other stuff and
it's not cluttered up with thinking and talking. I guess that
if you wanted a list of things that inspire me I would
choose:
- watching dogs (and cats too) - they teach me so much about the simple pleasures in life that make us happy. Having fun, being silly, being loved, running around outside, playing, lying in a warm sunny spot.
- Watching the sky. Wondering what the sky looks like over other places in the world - Paris, Dublin, Jerusalem, the outback, the Himalayas, Omaha, Peru. Are there other people there, gazing out of their window? What are they thinking? What are we all thinking?
- Listening to music, when it makes me feel far away from my humdrum life and makes me think about other lives and how other people live. In fact I have a `writing` playlist on my ipod. I will do a top 10 for this :) But the Chill Out listfeatures on it.
- Walking into an empty room, in the late afternoon sunlight and watching the dust motes sparkle.
- Being in an old place. Like an church, or a museum. Or really, any place that gives me goosebumps when you can feel the `hum` of history.
- Sunrise and sunset. Thunderstorms, snow, rain. I'm not alone in being inspired by natural beauty. Why is this?
Mar
21st
An Interview with blogger/sexpert Betty Herbert
By stupidgirl45
Member stupidgirl45 interviews blogger and
writer Betty Herbert
I am very, very excited about tonight's guest on my sofa, blogger and published author (and dare I say it, sexpert) Betty Herbert of The 52 Seductions blog!
I am very, very excited about tonight's guest on my sofa, blogger and published author (and dare I say it, sexpert) Betty Herbert of The 52 Seductions blog!
The blog - and soon to be published book -
details Betty's attempts to to re-seduce her husband after
10 years of marriage. I found it alternately funny,
endearing, eye-opening and, above all else, inspirational -
particularly for her confrontation of many of the issues that can
plague a long term relationship! I am honoured to have her
sitting on my virtual sofa and to be interviewing her!
Betty is 33, and lives on the Kent coast with her husband
Herbert and her cats, Bob and Elvis. She likes knitting, cooking,
drinking cocktails and swimming in the sea (but not in the
winter. She is not one of those hardy types).
Me: Well firstly, as I ask everyone, what is the best piece of advice you've ever been given?
BH: Oh god, I'm so terrible at taking advice. I have no respect for my elders and betters. But my Dad delivered a much-resented lecture on not burning my bridges when I was a teenager, and actually it turns out he was right. I've learned suppress my urge to have the final say in all matters, just in case it turns out I'm wrong.
Me: I'd say that's pretty sensible, even if it involves biting one's tongue some what. Let's try another tough question; What is your favourite book?
BH: It's a toss-up between L'Etranger by Albert Camus and The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole by Sue Townsend.
Me: Aww I love Adrian Mole, great choice! So, tell us, how did you get started with writing and how on earth did you come up with the 52 Seductions?
BH: I've always written since childhood, but I turned to it more seriously in my mid-20s. It was Zadie Smith's fault - she was a year above me at university, and the success of White Teeth made me insanely envious. I decided that it would be better to take my own writing more seriously rather than starting a hate campaign. I published lots of short stories and a novel (none of which anyone read) before I became Betty.
The idea for The 52 Seductions was a bizarre flash of inspiration. We'd had sex after a long drought, and I felt like we had to do something about our flagging desire. I'd just watched Julie and Julia, and it struck me that turning sex into a project would keep us on-task. I also realised that I'd be more likely to stick to it if I wrote the blog. At the time, I was in the middle of writing my second novel, and I thought it would be light relief. Of course, it turned out that everyone wanted to read me talking about my fanny, rather than my sensitive literary offerings. The novel is now languishing in my bottom drawer.
Me: And what have you learned about yourself on the 52 Seductions journey?
BH: I learned how scared I was. I felt so much pressure to be this sassy, modern woman who was a demon in the bedroom. When I couldn't live up to that, I avoided sex altogether, rather than admitting that I didn't feel competent around penises. I also learned so much more about what I found sexy, and often surprised myself. For example, I was terrified to watch my first porn film, but it turns out I rather enjoyed it.
...... You can read the rest of the interview here
**** Small alert, we will be talking about
sex. If you are likely to be offended by this, or if you
are under 18, perhaps don't read it****
Me: Well firstly, as I ask everyone, what is the best piece of advice you've ever been given?
BH: Oh god, I'm so terrible at taking advice. I have no respect for my elders and betters. But my Dad delivered a much-resented lecture on not burning my bridges when I was a teenager, and actually it turns out he was right. I've learned suppress my urge to have the final say in all matters, just in case it turns out I'm wrong.
Me: I'd say that's pretty sensible, even if it involves biting one's tongue some what. Let's try another tough question; What is your favourite book?
BH: It's a toss-up between L'Etranger by Albert Camus and The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole by Sue Townsend.
Me: Aww I love Adrian Mole, great choice! So, tell us, how did you get started with writing and how on earth did you come up with the 52 Seductions?
BH: I've always written since childhood, but I turned to it more seriously in my mid-20s. It was Zadie Smith's fault - she was a year above me at university, and the success of White Teeth made me insanely envious. I decided that it would be better to take my own writing more seriously rather than starting a hate campaign. I published lots of short stories and a novel (none of which anyone read) before I became Betty.
The idea for The 52 Seductions was a bizarre flash of inspiration. We'd had sex after a long drought, and I felt like we had to do something about our flagging desire. I'd just watched Julie and Julia, and it struck me that turning sex into a project would keep us on-task. I also realised that I'd be more likely to stick to it if I wrote the blog. At the time, I was in the middle of writing my second novel, and I thought it would be light relief. Of course, it turned out that everyone wanted to read me talking about my fanny, rather than my sensitive literary offerings. The novel is now languishing in my bottom drawer.
Me: And what have you learned about yourself on the 52 Seductions journey?
BH: I learned how scared I was. I felt so much pressure to be this sassy, modern woman who was a demon in the bedroom. When I couldn't live up to that, I avoided sex altogether, rather than admitting that I didn't feel competent around penises. I also learned so much more about what I found sexy, and often surprised myself. For example, I was terrified to watch my first porn film, but it turns out I rather enjoyed it.
...... You can read the rest of the interview here
Feb
17th
This Much I Know Is True - Life as a Single Mum
By stupidgirl45
Every week on my
blog,
I interview someone who interests me - be they
author,
photographer,
writer, athlete and more. I grew tired of reading interview
with `celebrities` in magazines and being completely unable to
relate to their lives + advice - I'm much more interested in the
regular people + what they know - hence starting my weekly
interview series.
I thought the members of MTLTS would like an interview I did with Jo, a single mum with two sons - with disabilities - she is, in my opinion, superwoman. So here you go....
Well here we are - interview number two - and I am honoured to have on my virtual l-shaped navy sofa tonight, the very lovely @demonwrangler aka Jo!
Jo is mum to 2 child shaped demons. She is technically a lone parent but receives so much support from her fiance that it renders the term "lone" invalid. She has worked in fashion and education and both are totally fruitloop.
We are eating virtual cheesy pizza (her request, no calories either - bonus) and drinking rose wine. We're not listening to any music because Jo has synesthesia set off by music!* Apparently it can be a little distracting trying to talk through an auditory rainbow of sound/vision/emotion combined. Anyway, on with the interview.....
Me: What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given?
Jo: I'm not really one for nuggets of condensed wisdom, my mum used to have a saying for everything and used to invariably get them wrong or mix them up. One thing she did say often was that you cannot make people's mistakes for them nor can you expect them to learn from yours.
Me: Describe yourself in a dating ad
Jo: Fat, fabulous and almost 40. Opinionated but excessively reasonable single mother seeks person to share demon wrangling responsibilities and to pour the wine. Height/weight/age unimportant, honesty and humour vital. Previous applicants should piss off.
Me: What is the nicest thing you have done?
Jo: I don't know, I don't know if I am a nice person. I do things because they are right or because it makes me feel good to do them. I don't do things totally altruistically. I know that I would rather do someone a good turn than a bad one though and I like to think that's nice.
Me: So lets talk about your 101 things in 1001 days project, what made you start it?
Jo: When I started the project I was in limbo to be honest. I started it just under a year after my husband left me. I was a single mother with two small children, one of whom is classed as profoundly disabled, I was unable to work so lost my career, my mother had died earlier in the year and I felt my life had no real direction. I had managed to lose me somewhere along the line.
Me: What did you gain from the project - which by the way, I think is pretty inspiring - and did you like some challenges more than others?
Jo: The project gave me some direction, some focus and something to look forward to. I have changed some of the challenges as I've gone along. They are now more "me" because when I started I was not sure who "me" was anymore.
I don't like/dislike any challenges in particular. I am particularly proud of the ones that have meant me going out and initiating things and speaking to new people. I had very little self confidence when I started this project but now I have more. That above all else has made this project worthwhile.
Me: As we can tell from your answers, you've got a great writing style - what keeps you writing?
Jo: I write because it keeps my brain working. Before I became a stay at home mum, I was a teacher and loved the challenge of trying to force spreadsheets and databases into the reluctant minds of surly teenagers. I have also always been a bit of a performer! I love to make people laugh, I love to entertain. I used to act and sing and do all kinds of things but now I don't. So I try to do it in words.
Me: Moving onto the boys (aka the demons, such a great name!) What do you love about being a mum?
Jo: Is this where I am supposed to say everything and tell you how they have made my life complete?
I hope not because that's a load of tosh quite frankly. I love the cuddles, I love watching them grow, I love how funny they are, I love seeing other people I love in their expressions and gestures, I love when they achieve, I love that they need me, I love that they love me, I love that they are individuals not just clones of me or their father. I love them, warts and all. I could live without the tantrums and the 5 a.m alarm calls. I could live without the worry that comes with being a parent. I could live without the fear that something will happen to them. I could not live without them.
Click here to read the rest of the interview + check out my blog!
I thought the members of MTLTS would like an interview I did with Jo, a single mum with two sons - with disabilities - she is, in my opinion, superwoman. So here you go....
Well here we are - interview number two - and I am honoured to have on my virtual l-shaped navy sofa tonight, the very lovely @demonwrangler aka Jo!
Jo is mum to 2 child shaped demons. She is technically a lone parent but receives so much support from her fiance that it renders the term "lone" invalid. She has worked in fashion and education and both are totally fruitloop.
We are eating virtual cheesy pizza (her request, no calories either - bonus) and drinking rose wine. We're not listening to any music because Jo has synesthesia set off by music!* Apparently it can be a little distracting trying to talk through an auditory rainbow of sound/vision/emotion combined. Anyway, on with the interview.....
Me: What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given?
Jo: I'm not really one for nuggets of condensed wisdom, my mum used to have a saying for everything and used to invariably get them wrong or mix them up. One thing she did say often was that you cannot make people's mistakes for them nor can you expect them to learn from yours.
Me: Describe yourself in a dating ad
Jo: Fat, fabulous and almost 40. Opinionated but excessively reasonable single mother seeks person to share demon wrangling responsibilities and to pour the wine. Height/weight/age unimportant, honesty and humour vital. Previous applicants should piss off.
Me: What is the nicest thing you have done?
Jo: I don't know, I don't know if I am a nice person. I do things because they are right or because it makes me feel good to do them. I don't do things totally altruistically. I know that I would rather do someone a good turn than a bad one though and I like to think that's nice.
Me: So lets talk about your 101 things in 1001 days project, what made you start it?
Jo: When I started the project I was in limbo to be honest. I started it just under a year after my husband left me. I was a single mother with two small children, one of whom is classed as profoundly disabled, I was unable to work so lost my career, my mother had died earlier in the year and I felt my life had no real direction. I had managed to lose me somewhere along the line.
Me: What did you gain from the project - which by the way, I think is pretty inspiring - and did you like some challenges more than others?
Jo: The project gave me some direction, some focus and something to look forward to. I have changed some of the challenges as I've gone along. They are now more "me" because when I started I was not sure who "me" was anymore.
I don't like/dislike any challenges in particular. I am particularly proud of the ones that have meant me going out and initiating things and speaking to new people. I had very little self confidence when I started this project but now I have more. That above all else has made this project worthwhile.
Me: As we can tell from your answers, you've got a great writing style - what keeps you writing?
Jo: I write because it keeps my brain working. Before I became a stay at home mum, I was a teacher and loved the challenge of trying to force spreadsheets and databases into the reluctant minds of surly teenagers. I have also always been a bit of a performer! I love to make people laugh, I love to entertain. I used to act and sing and do all kinds of things but now I don't. So I try to do it in words.
Me: Moving onto the boys (aka the demons, such a great name!) What do you love about being a mum?
Jo: Is this where I am supposed to say everything and tell you how they have made my life complete?
I hope not because that's a load of tosh quite frankly. I love the cuddles, I love watching them grow, I love how funny they are, I love seeing other people I love in their expressions and gestures, I love when they achieve, I love that they need me, I love that they love me, I love that they are individuals not just clones of me or their father. I love them, warts and all. I could live without the tantrums and the 5 a.m alarm calls. I could live without the worry that comes with being a parent. I could live without the fear that something will happen to them. I could not live without them.
Click here to read the rest of the interview + check out my blog!
Feb
14th
Let's Talk About Sex Baby - Word of the Week/Writing Sex Scenes!
By stupidgirl45
Well yeah, as the song goes really,
let's talk about sex. Let's just get right down to the nitty
gritty. How does one write the perfect sex scene? Neither too
smutty/pornographic nor too fluffy and schmaltzy. What words do you
use to describe parts of the anatomy? Do you make it funny? What if
everyone who reads the scene assumes you've written it based on
your sex life + the person you're sleeping with? What if what if
what if................
In case you've not heard about my blog and you're wondering WTF is this crazy person going on about, every week I do Word of the Week (WoTW). I pick a word and talk about it in relation to writing. The last few weeks' words have been quite intense - and provoked a lot of discussion - so I thought I'd do something a little more light-hearted this week and talk about sex.....
In case you've not heard about my blog and you're wondering WTF is this crazy person going on about, every week I do Word of the Week (WoTW). I pick a word and talk about it in relation to writing. The last few weeks' words have been quite intense - and provoked a lot of discussion - so I thought I'd do something a little more light-hearted this week and talk about sex.....
Is
there an art to writing a good literary sex scene? And what do I
even mean by good - everyone has different ideas of what makes a
good sex scene right?! And clearly none of this applies if you're
writing erotica/bonkbusters/posh porn
etc.
My
best example of this is the library sex scene in atonement. It's
simple but obvious and leaves your imagination to fill in the
blanks (blanks that were hugely helped by the divine James McAvoy
playing Robbie in the film). I think Ian McEwan should also win
an award for excellent, if not the definitive use, of the word
cunt.
It
is also quite hard to write a sex scene that doesn't end up being
comically amusing - mainly due to issues with what words to use
for the various parts of the
anatomy.
My final issue with writing about
sex is actually fear of how it reveals what your own attitude to
sex is. My book involves several different types of sexual
relations - infidelity shags, loving sex and paid for fucks. All
of which have to be described differently + provoke different
reactions in the reader. It doesn't mean that this is the type of
sex I have myself, but when you've had the same partner for many
years does that mean your readers think you're drawing on
experience. Ultimately my characters define the sex they have -
not me - I'm just their conduit and I certainly haven't
experienced (sadly?) some of the situations I
describe.
Click here to read on and read the rest of my
blog .....
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